Monday, March 10, 2014
I have a weird way of speaking nonsense in that half-asleep/half-awake haze that happens between the squawks of the alarm clock. Last week, I told Julian that the bed felt so good I just wanted to get all of my cuddle things that I love in the bed at the same time and cuddle them. What does that mean?
It was nonsense but looking at several other parts of life these past three weeks, I realize that I've had a weird shift of perspective sneak up on me. In case you hadn't noticed, I've been doing a lot of crafting. I think part of it is because it is so fulfilling, when I can't be out in the garden, to feel productive. Part of it is because I need the peace and calmness of sitting in the living room with Julian, not obligated to clean or do chores, but just to be together in the quiet. But last week, I had an opportunity (and free reign from the Mr.) to indulge in a little retail therapy, and that's when I realized that my head was in a new and different place.
I had a work appointment last Thursday in Pittsburgh (read "shopping mecca" for anyone who lives in WV) and the Panera I had my meeting in was two doors down from Anthropologie (you know where this is going). I absolutley love the Voluspa candles at Anthropologie and walked in the door planning to take one home. I also always cruise the clearance section for to-die-for shoes, accessories, etc. because, really, who can afford it all at regular price? [Don't answer that.]
Once inside the store, I found myself so strongly compelled to get something for the house, and a candle wouldn't do. Candles are temporary, I wanted something that I'd still love 40 years from now. I wandered around, dug through all the bins. I organized my thoughts into a list. What do I want to buy today? What will I feel good about taking home with me on a whim? It needs to: make me happy to look at, last for a long time, be something that my children will be nostalgic about, add a little je ne sais quoi to our everyday.
I settled on these two things: leash hanger (no we don't have a dog) and egg holder. When I brought them home to Julian and was showing them off, it hit me: I'm nesting. That's what this is. I have an overwhelming urge to purge all the meaningless, and hoard all my cuddle things, all at once.
Three months ago, I was planning to pack up this house and be on our way to the next place, the next season of life. Now, we are making plans for being here another year, another Thanksgiving, another Christmas, another spring. So as I hoard and purge, craft and create, think about seeds and seasons, I will meditate on this: In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will, so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of his glory. In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of his glory (Eph 1:11-13).